A session with my osteopath

“He’s worked with abuse survivors, he knows about kundalini and he says he thinks he can help you.”

It was such a relief to hear my psychologist’s words.

We both felt I had been stuck for too long – body memories, energy snaking up my spine, major tension in my body with little relief. She had suggested some bodywork and had spoken to her osteopath.

But I was also nervous… a man, working with my body.

The last two years had been a nightmare. Recovering completely repressed memories of child abuse is no picnic. My life had been turned upside down – eating disorders, major panic attacks and flashbacks which left me curled up shaking with terror.

Over time I had learned to feel safe to share my memories with my psychologist but it was obvious I was in need of some extra help.

I fronted up to ‘H’s rooms at the back of his house.

 I have often thought back to the moment of our first meeting. He had looked and sounded just like my favourite uncle – the brother of my abuser. I never really had that impression again but it had the effect of me feeling quite safe with him straight away.

We talked a little, then he did a thorough check of my spine, posture etc. He told me that he would need to work on these for the first couple of sessions. His work was gentle and respectful.

I’ll never forget my third session when he began cranio-sacral work.

He held my head quietly. I lay on the table listening to the sea. A great stillness gradually enveloped me.

Suddenly, what felt like a fountain welled up in my belly – rolling energy bubbled and swelled. I felt light, full of air. I rolled over on my side and began to cry.

“I’m safe. My sisters are safe. It’s all going to be alright.”

The energy exploded in my belly. I began to laugh. I felt like singing, standing up on the table and singing. Finally the energy calmed and a beautiful peace fell upon me.

When I eventually sat up dazed and wondering I asked ‘H’ what he had done to cause this.

“I was just holding your head with love,” he said.

Later he told me that there had been enough energy in me to light up Brunswick Heads.

During the following week I began to have visions, strong flashes of energy, the urge to gently rest my hands on people for healing. It was the beginning of a 12 year journey in learning to cope with a spiritual awakening which ricocheted me between elation and despair.

It’s all good now. I am stable, grounded and have a pretty good idea of what I’m meant to be doing on this earth.

Of course I could be wrong.