General

A woman is standing naked in the bathroom in front of the mirror, touching and fondling her breasts. Her husband walks in and asks, “What the hell are you doing?” His wife replies, “I’ve just been to the doctor and he told me...

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A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multi-coloured hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and...

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A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on Brooklyn Tony. He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.” The teacher...

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. He meets an Aussie farmer and visits his farm and they get talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as big as this...

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my...

An American, a Brit and an Iraqi are one night having a few beers. The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says “In the States our glasses are so cheap that we...

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