Be-Loved: LOVE – what is it really?
With Kira Kay
The Collins dictionary defines love as “to have great affection for; feel sexual passion for; enjoy something very much”. I would venture to say if I asked 200 people, I would have 200 different definitions.
Love is probably the most talked about, dissected, work-shopped and sought after experience by humans – from the romantic love to the spiritual universal love.
So if we are all seeking it, how come few people seem to attain it?
What I have gained from my own exploration of love, feeling love, being love – is that many of my illusions about love have been shattered, which has at times left me feeling a bit disillusioned with life!
However, it has also presented me with a tremendous gift – to deeply know that love is not outside but within. Simple, you might say – every sage and guru has said this very thing! Yet how many of you are still seeking fulfillment on the outside?
How many of you look around the room to see if you can spy a potential partner?
How many of you head to the next workshop hoping that this time you will reach *that* place? In reality looking for the answer on the outside.
I make these comments not from judgment but more from experience. I too have been in that seeking place.
Hoping that the next relationship will offer what I need to feel complete, that the next workshop will give me the enlightening experience.
And each experience has been a stepping stone to where I am now.
However, I have found the main instrument in understanding and integrating the realisation that the source of love is within, is ‘me’.
So every time I am feeling as if I am not being fulfilled, getting what I need, not feeling complete – these are the triggers to look at what it is that I am doing in my life that is creating these outcomes.
What beliefs, ideas and attitudes am I holding onto that are supporting a reality that I do not enjoy?
The other side of this is also to reflect on the situations where I do feel fulfilled and happy.
If a person or situation is fulfilling a need/desire that I have, would I still feel happy and complete with the person/situation absent from my life? The ultimate responsibility lies with me.
By honestly and deeply contemplating my life I have begun to establish a foundation of living based on my intrinsic Truth.
To let the emotions and feelings swirl and course through me, yet stay in touch with the depth of my being.
In saying this I wish to state that I experience my life as a continuing journey. I do not feel I have attained a special state. I see it as simple steps in each moment.
In this moment, I am I prepared to feel the uncomfortable/pleasurable emotion – and reach for the depth of source within the experience.
We all have the place of eternal wisdom within us.
It is up to each individual to discover the direct connection to access this knowing and begin applying it in day to day living experiences.
As part of my journey I have chosen to develop my innate psychic abilities which has enabled me to delve deeply into spirit realms.
The following excerpt is from the spirit realm and has offered me tangible guidance in addressing my own issues about this human experience. I trust that you will gain insight and understanding to support your own life.
“You each came to experience moving beyond the human conditioning around survival mode. Finances are an intrinsic aspect of this, sex/sexuality is another aspect, as is perception of self.
All are interrelated and not separate.
It is through the process of awareness, of becoming aware of the inner thoughts, and connections of the thought and its many varied forms.
The key is to disconnect from these core struggle points, these points where the human condition seems to have an in-built conditioning to maintain, thus constructing an inner fight/struggle.
As you become aware of this inner process there is a space for stepping aside from it.
The key is the awareness of the process. As the awareness expands there is space within time.
Within that space in time there is the realisation that you are not the thoughts, that you do not have to believe the thoughts no matter how core or fundamental they may appear.
In particular thoughts on finances, death, sex and love are ones that most human beings feel they cannot let go the belief of.
You cannot experience yourself truly, in your natural state, while you hold these beliefs because that is holding the illusion. There will always be a struggle/fight while you choose to believe these human truths.
Do not be confused, it is not about not experiencing your emotions/thoughts/feelings that arise from these issues – it is the absoluteness that needs to be dismantled.
On a basic level there is enough of everything, enough food, enough money, enough joy, happiness and every other possible requirement.
But if you believe there is not enough, if you believe that you have a lack, then this is in fact your reality.
If you stop following these ramblings of the mind when it is triggered by one of these subjects, then you actually can look in that moment and see what your truth really is, in this instant.
It will allow you to start to see life as it truly is. To see that there is a natural flow that happens.
It is the busyness of the mind interwoven with the chaos of the emotions that create such a dust cloud that you do not see what actually is.
This process requires a slowing down and being present in each moment, you cannot stop the natural flow – it is always there. It is whether you choose to see it, to live, to experience it. It is the natural state of grace.
Becoming aware, becoming more conscious of your natural state, is something that can ultimately happen in an instant.
However, you have chosen, each of you, to have a human experience, to awaken to your natural state within this human experience.
You have never really forgotten who you are – which can be a stimulus and at the same time a handicap. It has set up a framework of both what is possible, and the duality of self-expectation.
The key is to continue the levels of uncovering in each moment. And remembering that there is no perfect way, no right way, no ultimate way, there is only what is in each moment.
One particular key is when you become aware of the struggle is to not delve directly to the heart of the struggle. It is not a problem to be dissected, rather to feel the experience and allow the space for seeing.
As you would allow seeing another, be in this process within self, more impersonal, enveloping.
It is not just the outward seeing but also the inward process – because you are not separate, you are all one, the more you see another, the more clearly you see yourself.
When you find yourself in a state of grace, allow yourself to intimately feel the delightfulness. Allow yourself to immerse in these feelings, allow it to be conscious thought, as if to imprint your cells.
It will support you in times when your system wants to flip back to the automatic contractions. The more you allow this state of grace, this sense, the more it becomes a part of your life.
There is a caution, as you begin to experience this state of grace, it can be a thin line where you can be over exuberant in the delightfulness of the feelings and skip away from vulnerability and back into the automatic patterns.
It does require you to be aware of and present with your words and communication in each moment.
You are all our beloved’s – to be loved.
We do not experience the separateness that you humans have chosen to experience.
We cannot experience the pain that we see you experience.
Yet we do have, through witnessing your process, some understanding.
We cannot fully express to you our knowing of what it truly is to be in a state of grace, to be truly beloved, that there is no separateness.
We attempt through instants such as this, through writings, through teachers scattered all over the planet – yet none of these can adequately convey to the masses that there is no other choice but to see each other as beloveds.
To love, and be loved.
There is the belovedness within which needs to be experienced.
Becoming aware of your inner process – discovering the belovedness within, the healing.
Then you can truly experience the belovedness on the outside.”
Using this encouragement I find it supportive, as a daily practice, to actively disconnect from my conditioned way of living and to integrate living from source. To explore intimately experiencing love – all the time.
My experience is that it takes courage to begin living a more honest life with oneself. However, ultimately any fight/lies or untruths that I engage in are with myself.
Which when viewed in perspective is rather silly. Much better to attempt living as undefended as I know how and open to the possibility that this human experience is much more that I can imagine.
To be a human is truly a gift. We often do not realise nor appreciate the opportunity that we have right here, right now.
My aim is to support myself and others to be more in our natural state of harmony.
By Kira Kay for the Here & Now magazine Byron Bay.
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