Some Proposed Alcohol Warning Labels
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!!
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can’t remember).
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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