A Melbourne lawyer parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.

As he’s getting out of the car, a truck speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.

More than a little distraught, the lawyer grabs his mobile and calls the cops. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the cop has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically “My Porsche, My beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it’s at the panel beaters it’ll simply never be the same again!”

After the lawyer finally finishes his rant, the policeman (on hiatus from another rural part of Victoria) shakes his head in disgust. “I can’t believe how materialistic you bloody Melbourne city people are” he says. “You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else in your life.”

“How can you say such a thing at a time like this?” snaps the lawyer.

The policeman replies, “Didn’t you realise that your left arm was torn off when the truck hit you.”

The lawyer looks down in absolute horror. “F*cking hell!” he screams. “Where’s my Rolex?”